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Mistaking Me For A Black Jesus:: Confessions of the Absurd….

April 20, 2007

Time after time while traveling in Argentina and Chile I am always not only the Black American, but the only Black face ever, anywhere (no longer the only minority period thanks to two Asians from Texas and one from NYC, gooooo color crew!). Not really a big deal, I’m a professional only. However instead of being surrounded only by American bred Whites, I am surrounded by European Whites….. that presents a whole new set of racial problems that I’ll post about later. Too often in the past couple of months, particularly after lots of wine, beer,  and local liquor has been flowing I find myself cornered by some British/Dutch/German/Swedish/Norway student confessing their racist sins to me as if I have some sort of power to absolve them from their sins. They range from small to the great.

“I’ve always wanted to sleep with a Black man, I’ve heard loads about the size of their cocks” ….with a pair of shiny bright eyes glowing up at me eagerly, what does one reply to that?

“Tell me, is it true was I really born genetically deficit for pleasing a woman?….are Black men really larger, ya know… down there”

………I know we have been hyper sexualized for centuries, but who knew so many fools were still actually obsessed with the size of the Black penis?

Then there are the others………

“I have stood by and done nothing while minorities in the program (umm, that would be me….and umm me) were referred to in, umm, harsh…..and ::racist:: terms …..I’m so sorry”

“I lived in the States for awhile ……..the Blacks are so colorful, even if they are as lazy and violent as everyone says.”

“I could never ever be attracted to an Afro-Caribbean woman, I mean a part of me wouldn’t mind taking one for a test drive ya know what I mean…… I like other races well enough ya know, but I just couldn’t ever be attracted to ya know, that kind of person, THAT kind of look…. but no offense love, your quite lovely” …..uuumm, what?

This doesn’t happen once, or twice but constantly. What the hell do people actually expect me to say to them? Do I wave my magical Black hand over their head, douse them with wine and proclaim that they have been forgiven for all racist/discriminatory thoughts? What exactly are they expecting?

I had a Dutch roommate last week that told me during a conversation that started off on religion in our respective countries and some how turned into her saying “Holland has a serious immigrant problem right now with North African/Middle Eastern particularly Turkish Immigrants and they screw up everything in our country because they are all horrible people”. Umm all of them? Umm did she forget she was sitting in a room with a Black woman? The best part was she kept saying over and over again how she wasn´t a racist and how Hollands problem was that they were the most friendly tolerant unracist people on the face of the planet. “I’m not a racist at all. I don’t have a racist bone in my body” was all she kept saying after I was clearly perturbed. I replied that hers is the kind of fucked up attitude that Blacks/people of color/immigrants fight in the States and its so absurd that anyone would think it was better in Europe (the lie they teach up growing up… just because Josephine Baker found refuge there in the 20s doesn’t make it better in modern comparisons). She then went on to say how she didn’t understand racism in America. I told her that I didn´t know why because what she just said was racist. Who was I to be surprised seeing how, the English, the Dutch, the Spanish went running around the world colonizing and enslaving every person possible while spreading “civilization”. Those fuckers created racism…until the Germans could perfect it. She kept telling me how she knows that she it probably SOUNDS racist to me, but that’s just because I don´t know these people. I told her that it probably doesn´t SOUND racist to her because she thinks that she does know these people.

………..I’m suffering from European overload this week. I usually try to avoid Americans while traveling, because that’s whole point of traveling, to meet people you usually wouldn’t right? But with the nonsense that I’ve put up with, the superior attitude, snotty uninformed anti-American sentiment every single day (plenty of reasons to hate Bush and America, but if you’re going to run your mouth off get your facts straight from hearsay)……… I steer clear of the Euro’s here. If one more person calls me an Afro-Caribbean….as if all of us colored are the same, or puts their hand into my fluffy fro without asking again I’m going to lose my natural black mind. I just can’t take it anymore because unfortunately I do not have the powers of some mystical magical negro and I can´t wash away racist sins or discriminatory thoughts and frankly I´d rather they keep this shit to themselves. Who do I look like, Black Jesus? ….I don´t know, maybe It´s the fro.

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5 comments

  1. A great post. Maybe these White europeans don’t hope that you wave the black hand…but that you communicate everything you have just communicated…to their face…in a frank, honest way. And that in some way, would absolve their ‘sins.’


  2. Such a brilliant post.You had me laughing and nodding my head in agreement.Bravo.But I agree with Tomas your thoughts should be shared.


  3. Even though I read this about a year ago, it still cracks me up. I can only imagine those encounters.


  4. Thanks!,


  5. What a load of shit. Saying all europeans are the same ‘is’ racist you cunt.



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